i thought i saw you today
in the most unlikely place
the oddest circumstances
just heart playing tricks on mind again,
i suppose
though at that moment, i could have
could have, my fingers tingling
brushed his sleeve
pressed against his shoulder,
ever so slightly
entwined my fingers with his
i could have
but reason interferred, and
thankfully so
i do not love him,
make no mistake
it was just confirmed today
i admit, i had my suspicions
not terribly alarming, but suspicions nonetheless
i liked him well enough
he had a wonderful face,
an endearing smile
kindred eyes,
and soul
but i loved him
only as one would love a lamp, for want of sun
as one would love a cool breeze, for want of rain
an image, a shadow
for want of body
it is only you i crave
and while you are away
my fancy conjures up
ghost-substitutes
to occupy herself
a weak little self indeed
though i cannot blame her-
she is but human
and yet, it was so you
so nearly you
i feared to look into his eyes,
lest i see a recognition
or lest he see it in mine
and be deceived
a ghost hope, a ghost smile
and i await here
battling my own fancies, my own solitude
until you return.